Wanted: doppelganger

It's been eight weeks that I'm in this clinic and where am I, concerning my health? Right, nowhere. In those 8 weeks I've been on the outside for four days. That's worrying, isn't it? And it didn't always end up well when I was on the outside. So I thought it's time I got some fresh air and that I got my normal life back and that somebody else took my place. That's why I need a doppelganger.

Listen well, you don't have to do this for free. I'll pay you. What's even more, the room service in the isolation cell is excellent. You call, and they bring you your coca cola, or your pudding, or your plate of paella - that is, if that's available at that moment. You do have to take into consideration that you'll have to take a whole bunch of pills a day. Let me count... sorry, it takes a while... give me a few more minutes... 30 pills as a maximum. I know, it sounds worrying, but let me tell you this tiny little secret: if you've never taken these pills before, you'll sleep very, very well. So see this as a very relaxing holiday. The only thing is, you're confined to a psychiatric ward with two corridors. Still, you can watch TV, there is Wifi, the food is considerably good and the nurses are... well, most of them are okay (if they don't put you in the isolation cell). However, your behaviour will probably be less violent than mine, so you'll never end up there, especially with the 30 pills a day. 

The rooms are very comfortable. I'd say, three stars. The beds are quite cozy too. Each person has his/her own room with his/her proper shower and toilet. The rooms are being cleaned for you, you don't have to do it yourself. What more luxury do you want?! The view from my window is spectacular, at least, at night. All the lights of the city come alive. It's awesome. I don't know if you'll grasp a lot of the view with the 30 pills a day, but well... there are always disadvantages. The only thing is, you'll have to stay here for the coming 3 months and 2 weeks, as the judge's verdict was an RM ("Rechterlijke Machtiging", judicial authorization) of 4 months. Eventually, you'll also have to go to the CIB in the Hague, a specialised institution, but if you behave well - which is what I expect of you - you have a good chance of leaving there early. 

Furthermore, if you behave well on this ward, you'll get chances to do sports, to go outside and stuff like that. As I don't have control over my demons, I don't usually get that far, but of course I expect that you'll behave neatly.

So, if you look a bit like the picture I'll post, and you think "sounds kind of cool", please send me your CV and a motivation letter. Don't forget to include a recent picture of yourself. I couldn't risk of being caught in the act because a blonde female tries to replace me because of the appealing conditions, now could I?

That's what I look like right now