Sunday, May 31, 2015

Going back to university

Or so it feels... I know I've been out of sight for quite a long time, but here I am, back again, rising up out of the ashes like a phoenix. I'm still admitted to the psychiatric clinic in the Hague, but the time will come that I'll be able to tell you that I'll be dismissed between now and a couple of weeks/months, give or take a few. I'm doing the best I can, working hard in the different therapies. I even convinced the team of nurses to go running with me three times a week! Ha, who is het one enjoying this kind of therapy the most: me, the lousy patient, or them, the well-paid nurses who can go for a run during their working hours?


This clinic is called (in English) the "Centre for Intensive Treatment". However, the treatment wasn't so "intensive" and people got themselves complaining. Complaining about nearly everything: the food, the nurses, the therapies that were not intensive enough... you name it. So the staff took this quite literally when it came to the therapies and decided to make the programme more intensive. It wasn't me! The result is a folder with all kinds of schemes and pages to fill in about different aspects of our therapies. I already get tired by only looking at the pages in the folder! I mean, there seems to be no time left for leisure activities or to receive visitors, nor for taking some time to rest during the day.


It feels like yesterday that I started university. Why? Well, tomorrow we get this new therapy programme. Intensive, yes it is, oh yes sir! On the verge of going to university for the first day, I felt nearly as nervous as I'm feeling right now. See, it's not just some programme, no. We can receive points for good behaviour and something that we're not allowed to call punishment for bad behaviour. Maybe this sounds somehow as kindergarten, but as I can't remember anything from kindergarten and as this feeling I'm experiencing right now is leaning against a wall of emotions of fear and incertainty, I'm completely into this feeling of going to university for the first time. 


Folder: check. Pencils: check. To do list: check. I think I'm ready to go. Only thing is that the entire ward will be woken at 7.15 AM, while at first that was 8.15. Auch, that will hurt for most of us, myself included. That's exactly the reason why I'll finish this post and head to bed. Sleep tight, my blogger friends!