Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Stress sucks


Stress, a six-letter word, seemingly simple and innocent, yet bringing along many precautions: S-T-R-E-S-S, only six letters. There’s a lot that can be said and taught about stress, but one thing’s for sure: it wears me down. It stresses me down, so to speak. That’s right. In my personal life, I experience stress on a daily basis. It’s like the sword of Damocles, hanging there above my head, threatening, menacing. However, if you don’t experience stress on a regular basis, you’re considered not to be a human being. Or do animals also experience something like stress? So where is that balance point? Not too much stress, not too little. I can feel stress in my belly, boiling there until it reaches its boiling point. It starts out innocently, as a spark in my stomach, but any spark can start a fire, isn’t that right? It doesn’t always have to end in an outrageous fire, but still, chances of loads of damage can’t be discarded.
 

Stress doesn’t only have to be detectable through ways of your own feeling. There are other ways that you are probably not aware of. For example, other people around you can become irritated by your irritable behaviour because you are treating them badly or in such a way that you lose every sense of respect for them, putting yourself in the middle of the universe, where you – obviously – not are and where you probably won’t ever belong. Mind the humility. However, your stress doesn’t possibly have to be the stress of your acquaintances, if you know what I mean. Make sure that you keep your stress your own problem, and not theirs. Still, there is a way out of this situation. If you really want to share your stress and if you really need someone to help you cope with your stress levels, take this good and free advice of mine: go and see a psychiatrist. A good one, I mean, not just any one you choose randomly or one that randomly chooses you. Although sometimes you don’t have any spark of choice, don’t get me wrong. Another good and free advice of mine? You can easily check if the psychiatrist of your own choice – and thus the one you will share your stress with – is a good one by asking him or her a few seemingly ridiculous questions. If (s)he already makes a strange face when you mention the fact that you want to ask some questions before starting the first session – and thus when (s)he wants to starts asking questions him/herself, which is part of the job - forget about him/her and move on to the next one. If (s)he seems to be amused by your sly opening, there might be lying ahead a bright future between you and him/her when it comes to a psychiatric treatment. Ask him/her some personal questions about his/her hobbies, about his/her pets, about the car that (s)he drives. If (s)he doesn’t answer or answers these questions with a bewildered glare in his/her eyes, move on to the next one without any doubt. If (s)he keeps answering in an amused way however, you are probably very close to having found yourself the ultimate psychiatrist, one I can clearly recommend to you.
  

Back to stress, then. I usually seem to stress out when people put pressure on me or when there is a task with a time limit at hand I have to fulfill. As for that, I’m sure I’m not unique. However, take this recent example of mine which encompasses it all. I’ve been admitted to a psychiatric clinic for the past eight months now, which is a long time, fair enough. I’ve learnt a lot already, and maybe that’s an understatement. I’ve changed a lot, and that certainly is an understatement. I’ve been working physically and mentally to become the person I am right now. I still have a long way to go, so it’s not really possible to say when I’ll be leaving the clinic. I’m ambivalent in that respect. I wish I were out already on the one hand, but on the other hand, I still have so many things to learn in essence, and I want to leave this place with the maximum of what can be learnt in my mental backpack. I want to gain as much profit as possible from the kind of psychiatric treatment they offer in this clinic. Sometimes it’s good to be greedy. And then there comes the stress factor, lurking from the shadows. My psychologist has given me the opportunity to determine when I’m going to leave this clinic. Me, myself and I, figure that. I still can’t believe it, and that’s the reason why stress comes around. It could be worse, a lot worse, I do realise that, and that’s the reason why stress comes around the corner. Of course, pressure is a factor that is even worse if put in front of me choosing my resignation date or them – the entire team who has earned the five letters P-S-Y-C-H in front of their name: psychiatrist, psychologist, psychiatric nurse. And I was experiencing pressure when I was thinking about the exact resignation date. I was so anxious because I was expecting to hear that fearful date every single session with my psychologist. Twice a week, that is. I was preoccupied for the full 100%. And a few weeks ago, they told me I could determine my resignation date on my own. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Now that the pressure has become a lot less, there comes stress around the corner. When do I want to leave? A dilemma, that is. But you figured that out already, didn’t you? As in: Tomorrow? Next month? When I’m ready? Definitely when I’m ready. But when am I ready? Who else than me, myself and I can pinpoint that exact date? And yes, that process goes gradually. And yes, there will always be ups and downs, as there will always be therapy and those damned pills. But can I count on my own perception? All these questions overtake my stress level. Yes, there we go again: stress. How can I possibly cope with my stress level if I don’t have a clue how it works and where to begin? I can feel it rising in my body, from my toes to the top of my head. That’s all I can feel. How do people deal with stress? And what’s the sense of stress? Because, if everything in life has a purpose, then what’s the sense of stress? Honestly, I can’t possibly think about it in a positive sense. Maybe stress can be a kind of motivation to stimulate you to persevere even in the most stressful situations. Hey, wait a minute, did I observe a paradox there? Stress that helps you when you’re stressed? It can’t possibly be true. Somehow, however, there seems to be an advantage. Some people can only work under pressure/stress. Then they’re at their best and can fabricate the most horrifically genial essays. I’m obviously not one of those people. I need time, otherwise, stress will take it all over and will spoil the good result I could have reached in other circumstances. Now obviously in my case, stress isn’t the answer to stress or stressful situations or circumstances. I can name a few other cases in which stress doesn’t help you. Even worse and completely the opposite: stress brings on bad repercussions. What do you think about people who have to hurry – read: who are living with too much stress at work and/or at home – and who cause a fatal accident? Or else and even worse: people who are living under so much pressure that they aren’t able anymore to make a distinction between right and wrong and commit a crime or commit suicide, just because there was too much stress: family life as in being a good mom or dad, an exigent job, piles of homework, you name it. 


“Stress sucks” was the title I couldn’t invent myself. One of the nurses of the clinic I reside for the moment suggested the title with a lot of humour. Well, it’s probably a good summary of what most people think, exactly because they experience stress on a daily basis and can’t handle it in an adequate way – count myself in. They don’t consider the weight of stress, which I actually do. Don’t underestimate the power of stress! Ask any retired man or woman about stress and they will probably tell you stories about the good old times when they were still working hard and when they could still cope with stress – that is, if stress existed at all - not like now, when employees go from burn-out to burn-out because they are not tough enough to exercise their position at work. 


Stress is one of the most lethal diseases of the 21st century, let’s face it. What we can do about it, however, remains in the twilight zone of science. You cannot possibly find one – or more, for that matter – cure or wonder pills which can solve the stress problem. It’s all about your own strength. In what kind of family were you born? How did you grow up? What difficulties did you encounter while growing up? Every person goes through different phases in life and every person chooses his own way in every phase, sometimes out of force, sometimes voluntarily. Stress hasn’t brought me but exhaustion and unhappiness. I don’t seem to benefit from stress, but of course, every person brings on a different case.


If stress really sucks, that’s up to you to decide. In my case, it’s something that normally spoils my results, just because I give it too much importance and too much space. I wish it were different, but these are the raw facts, at least, when it boils down to me.