The incredibles

A while ago I posted a poll on my blog that asked you about your religious convictions. I wasn't surprised by the fact that most of the people that participated in that poll declared themselves to be atheists. I respect each and everyone's opinion, but I want to dedicate this post especially to all those atheists out there that somehow acknowledge that there actually has to be something more than just coincidence. In an earlier post I wrote about my own way to Christianity, for yes, I once was a sceptical atheist myself. And see how much I have changed :)

Since I became a christian, I've learnt to respect the world and especially the nature around me. Besides being a christian, I'm also kind of a scientist, because I'm a fervent amateur astronomer. When I'm out there at night, amazed by the wonders of the universe, I feel THAT small, you know. And when I have a look at the Astronomy Picture of the Day's website, I'm almost always completely stunned and taken aback by the miracles that are out there, billions of miles away from us. If you only think about how life is possible on this tiny planet Earth, how there are 8 other planets - yes, in my humble opinion, Pluto is a planet - in our solar system that have their own peculiarities - think about Jupiter's moons, Saturn's rings and the incredibly active volcanoes on Venus, to just name a few - how can you be so sure that it's just a matter of coincidence? I believe in the Big Bang, oh yes, but I can't see that happening without a Creator, someone who wanted it to exist and who wants to share the beauty of His creation with us, humble human beings.

Look at the real Lord of the Rings:

Or the beauty of the Horse Head Nebula:

Or, if you're still not convinced, the complexity of the Whirlpool Galaxy:

Still, we don't have to look at the edge of the universe to see the wonders of nature. What do you think about these wonders of nature?

I can go on for ages googling anything I want, be it animals or whatever can be found in nature, everything is so perfectly made, this can't be just coincidence, you have to be honest. And every aspect of an animal, a river, a volcano - you name it - has its own perfect shape and function. 

Acts 17: 24-28

²⁴ God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands;
²⁵ Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things;
²⁶ And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;
²⁷ That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:
²⁸ For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.

And then the moment came that God created man:

Genesis,1:27

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

Personally, I believe in the theory of evolution, BUT with a small note that it was our Creator that orchestrated each and every step in the evolution of man. He created man out of our ancestors, which were primates, indeed. God made man out of a lesser race. 

Do you really believe that you, dear reader, are as intelligent and talented as you are, just by coincidence or just because you were lucky to be gifted with whatever talent it is that makes you special? Maybe you're extremely creative and you make the most beautiful paintings. Or maybe you compose the most incredible music or have a voice that literally makes the stars fall from heaven. Or maybe you're particularly good at maths or languages or... maybe you can just make people feel at ease when they are not feeling too well... Each and every one of you has his/her particular talent, I'm sure of that. And if you think "this doesn't count for me, I don't have this supposed talent you're talking about", well let me talk to you then, face to face, for a couple of hours, and allow me to get to know you, and I'll tell you that you too are special, exactly as our Creator intended. 

I have to admit that, when I was still an atheist, I thought that some people are so smart just because they are lucky and are better than the lesser human beings among us. Now, however, I see that God gave each and every one of us at least one talent. God also gave man the ability to invent things that make life easier. When you look at the world around you, you see cities, incredibly soffisticated and complex, you see technologies that go way beyond your understanding, you see technological possibilities we could only dream about a couple of years ago. But it's all in us, because our Creator wanted it to be like that.

Unfortunately, next to the talents we can use to help each other, God also gave us a free will and a brain with which we can develop harmful things instead of high-technological tours de force that can be of use for the entire human race. That's how weapons were developped. That's how diseases came into our life. Through sin, that is. It's not a curse of God, no, people, it doesn't work like that. It's not as simple as that. However, Jesus came into the world to wash away our sins. He died so that we could live. He knows what life on earth is like, or just like Mark Schultz sings in one of his songs: He has been there, he knows what it feels like to suffer, to be despised and hated. He knows what fear, sorrow and pain are all about...

Now, I didn't write this post to try to save each and every one of my readers. I wrote this post because I see God in so many aspects of life. And although I haven't been too well lately, I know He's there. He's always been and always will. And one day, each and every one of you will know. I just hope that at that point in time, it won't be too late already. I hope you'll have met Him before that moment comes. Just look around you. Do you notice that beautiful sun, shining down on you? Do you see that baby, laughing at you? Do you see that dog, paralysed but still able to walk because someone was so kind to give him a second chance?

Of course, I hear you, there is also war, there are natural disasters, there are these incurable diseases, there is poverty, injustice and inequality in this world, but please, don't blame God! He loves us, He isn't there, high above us in heaven, to do us any harm. He is not the one who judges us and who's sitting there, waving his sceptre and causing war in Afghanistan, earthquakes in Guatemala or floods in Thailand, no! He made us and He accepts us with every fault and every talent that we have, and He knows that we can't be perfect. If we were perfect, there would right now be a rough 7,000,000,000 Jesuses on earth, which is a little bit over the top, don't you think so? I think it's just not fair that people refuse to believe in God, but do say that He is probably responsible for all the disasters and hatred in the world. It doens't work like that.

If you're an atheist, I can't blame you. It's in fact easier to think that there is nothing out there but the universe with its shining stars and glowing galaxies. It's easier to sin, and to think about no one but yourself, and to think that no matter what you do, you won't be judged in the end. I'm not saying that every atheist is a sinner and an egoist, don't get me wrong! What I'm saying is that in this world, many people, including some that will tell you that they believe in God, are self-centered and rough towards others all the time, and they forget the most crucial thing in life, namely that you are loved, and that you should show some respect for the one(s) who love you. It's in fact all about love in this world. If we loved each other just that tiny little bit more, there would be less hatred, less crime, less pain and suffering. But we can't. And why's that? Because people don't believe in God anymore these days. They don't want to acknowledge that they were created with love and in order to love. 

Look, I'm not the right person to judge atheists, and if it's ok for you, I will still be your friend, even if you're a convinced atheist. I hope you're not offended by what I wrote in this post. It's just that I'd like to grant you this feeling that you are loved and that, no matter what you have done wrong, you can always be forgiven and that there will be something better than this life in the end. I think that most of the people that only think about money, power and themselves are in fact atheists. If they knew God's love, they wouldn't be so selfish. I can see that particular change in myself already. I've become a more generous person when it comes to my relationship with others. Also, the majority of the people that don't care about nature, wildlife and the environment must be atheists because if they had allowed God in their life, they would have had a lot more respect for the world that surrounds them. 

This post is dedicated to all the incredibles. They can be incredibly stubborn when it comes to religion, but they can also be incredibly kind when it comes to their relationship with other people. Now the only step they have to take, is to take the hand that God reaches out to them... Still not convinced? No problem, you're old and wise enough to make your own decisions, and I will respect your choice...

The blind spot

Sometimes, you just feel sulky and irritated, and you might have an idea what could be the reason behind those annoying feelings. Probably some trouble with friends and/or family, problems at school or at work, or else, it's possible that you don't know how to deal with yourself. In my case, it's not really me feeling sulky and irritated. It's rather a feeling which is indescribable in itself. I mean, I can find a couple of adjectives that describe quite well how I'm feeling right now, but none of these adjectives is an adequate description of this pain deep inside of me. I'm feeling depressed, empty, lonely, desperate, torn, useless, worthlesss, vulnerable... but then all at once and put in a blender that creates a smoothie of negative emotions.

See, people, the problem is that I've been feeling like this for a while. I've written about it in an earlier post. And maybe also in this one. It all started at least a month ago. I felt unhappy with my life. And I helplessly notice that it seems to get worse every day. There are enough people who want to help me and who encourage and support me, but then they ask me what kind of problems I'm experiencing right now and what they can do to make me feel better. And there it gets really annoying, for I have no idea what's happening to me. Ok, I've been here before, but somehow, it still feels different. It's kind of a blind spot, I have no idea where these negative emotions stem from. I thought I could handle my life the way it is right now. I take the meds I have to take, I try to go to the gym at least once a week, I do the best I can when it comes to eating and sleeping... So where does this emotional confusion come from?

As you probably know, I was baptised a couple of weeks ago, and that really was a unique experience. I'll never forget how good I felt after I rose up out of the water. It should be considered as a new stage in your life, as a kind of rebirth as a christian. And, honestly, it felt like that. Shortly after my baptism, however, it became all fuzzy again in my head. The result was demotivation, fatigue, depression, worthlessness. I have to admit that I got into a kind of crisis, because I just couldn't handle these deeply dark feelings. I had no idea what the cause of all this darkness could be. Again, the blind spot turns up...

I talked to my pastor about it, I asked him for prayer. We prayed together, and he explained to me that all this rubbish is in fact not that strange, if you take into account the big decisions I've made recently that all include God and His son Jesus. By getting baptised, I made it explicitly clear that I want to belong to God and His family. The devil - yes, he does exist, unfortunately - is not very happy with that of course. And with him, his accomplices, i.e., the voices Male and Moses about whom I wrote in an earlier and quite risky post, if you remember (If not, please click on the link). In fact, those two voices originate from the devil's thoughts. He wants to destroy me by using them and by providing me of images in which I see myself cutting again... after a rough 4.5 years without hurting myself. I don't hear them explicitly - not yet - but I do get these images of cutting myself. Before I dedicated my heart to God, I was an easy prey for the influences of the devil. If you consider what those voices were telling me, you'll understand. Their purpose in life seems to be to make me suffer. 

This is what I believe I'm fighting against: the devil and his occult and devastating powers. However, I'm torn between two beliefs right now. There are people in my life praying for me at this very moment, and those people are such important friends to me, I can't imagine life without them. Other people, however, those who are in charge of my psychiatric treatment, don't believe in the devil, although some of them do believe in God and now I have to choose between them, who are also very supportive and important to me, and the people from the church. If my choice goes in favour of the church and the church's approach, I'll probably loose my psychiatric nurse who really wants to help me, but who doesn't want me to think in terms of the devil, whereas, if I choose her, a good and supporting person that I've known for years, I'll probably never be able to look my pastor straight in the eye again. This is such an impossible choice for me! Why does she do this to me? I just don't understand and I can't make a choice. I think that both of them are right in their own way. I do believe in the devil and that he can make people suffer. But I also agree with my psychiatric nurse when she says that this is a manifestation of the Borderline Personality Disorder I'm suffering from. My pastor is convinced that one day, I'll be able to live without the meds I have to take. However, I can hardly believe this, because all this has been going on for nearly 12 years... but I do believe that God is present in this process of recovery. However, I'm convinced that He created people smart enough to develop specific medicine to help people who are suffering from whichever disease you can imagine, be it physical or mental. 

The only thing I can do now, is hope that a solution will come soon and that I'll get rid of this blind spot. I honestly hope I don't have to make that choice between two groups of people that are really important in my life. I hope I will sooner or later - Ok, rather sooner than later - know what the hell is wrong with me and where this depression and darkness come from. Only then will I be able to search for a solution. For now, I'll end this post with a song that is based on Psalms 121, I lift my eyes up, by the band Kutless. A friend of mine - you know who you are - made me listen to this song yesterday, and I had to blink away a tear, because it's so appropiate for my feelings of helplessness at the moment.

Psalms 121:

1	I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills,          from whence cometh my help.
2	My help cometh from the LORD,          which made heaven and earth.
3	He will not suffer thy foot to be moved:          he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4	Behold, he that keepeth Israel          shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5	The LORD is thy keeper:          the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6	The sun shall not smite thee by day,          nor the moon by night.
7	The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil:          he shall preserve thy soul.
8	The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in          from this time forth, and even for evermore.

De oro

Estamos en el 2012 y tengo apenas 29 años, pero hace poco tiempo, me di cuenta de que estoy contenta y feliz por vivir en la misma época que algunas personas conocidas mundialmente. Son personas para las cuales tengo una admiración fuertíssima, como por ejemplo Stephen Hawking (el astrofísico), Barack Obama (sí, el presidente estadounidense), Brian Littrell (un cantante estadounidense) y Lionel Messi (el mejor futbolista del mundo, sí señor). Al mismo tiempo, me gustaría haber vivido en la misma época que otras personas conocidas, como Salvador Allende (el presidente chileno), Albert Einstein (el físico) o Che Guevara (el revolucionario). Llama la atención que son todos hombres, no sé por qué exactamente.Tengo diferentes motivos para admirar cada una de estas personas, pero en esta entrada quería escribir sobre un hombre que realmente tiene todo mi respeto y que es, desde mi humilde punto de vista, un hombre de oro, no sólo por sus realizaciones deportivas, sino también por su manera de ser: Lionel Messi. 

Mira, como hombre, no me gusta ni siquiera tanto, no es muy guapo - aunque es más guapo que hace algunos años - pero es su manera de ser que me gusta tanto, sobre todo cuando lo comparo con otras estrellas del fútbol contemporáneo, como el muy vanidoso Cristiano Ronaldo. Sé que son rivales eternos, y aunque ambos son los jugadores estrellas de sus respectivos equipos, sólo me atrae la manera de jugar de Messi. Cuando hace un gol, siempre dirige su mirada hacia el cielo, y dedica el gol a su abuelita fallecida que era muy importante para él. Ella murió hace algunos años, pero siempre lo apoyaba, incluso cuando era aún un futbolista muy joven. Ella era la persona que lo llevó a sus partidos y a los entrenamientos cuando era aún un niño. Yo sé apreciar esta manera de celebrar un gol.

Hace un año, visité Barcelona con una compañera de casa y también fuimos al estadio Camp Nou del FC Barcelona. Antes, ya era aficionada al fútbol y particularmente al Barça - aunque no sabía muy bien por qué - pero mi visita al Camp Nou aumentó aún mi respeto para el equipo y sus jugadores, y creo que soy por el momento uno de los aficionados más grandes del Barça aquí en Holanda. Desde mi visita a Barcelona, tengo un osito dormilón vestido de los colores del Barça e incluso con el número 10 y el nombre de Messi en su espalda. Siempre mira los partidos conmigo. Sólo faltan la camiseta y la bufanda para mí misma ;) Por lo demás, trato de ver gran parte de los partidos, esto es, si los emiten en el canal Sport 1 de Holanda. Compro los partidos, de todas maneras todos los partidos de la Liga de Campeones y los Clásicos, sean partidos de la Liga o de la Copa del Rey, o incluso la Supercopa.

Foto hecha en el estadio Camp Nou en Barcelona, julio del 2012

Hoy leí en la página de Facebook del Barça que Messi es el "rey de las estadísticas". También ha ganado el balón de oro tres veces hasta ahora. Y sólo tiene 25 años, razón por la que creo que todavía va a alcanzar mucho en su vida profesional. Está a punto de romper muchos récords. Para mí, es un gran hombre. Su patria puede estar muy orgullosa de él. Espero todavía mucho de él y tengo un respeto enorme para él.

Foto hecha en el museo del FC Barcelona, julio del 2011

Pero lo que más me gusta y lo que más puedo apreciar es su manera de ser, tan humilde, tan normal. Antes del clásico Barça-Real de hace algunas semanas, el correspondente holandés que estaba comentando el partido dijo que sólo hay una cosa especial o anormal a Leo Messi, y es el hecho de que sea tan normal, sobre todo en comparación con otros futbolistas, incluso del Barça mismo. Su compartimiento difiere tanto del compartimiento de tantas otras estrellas, sean deportistas, actores o cantantes. Es increíble que sea tan humilde. No quiero realmente hablar mal de Cristiano Ronaldo, pero la diferencia entre Ronaldo y Messi es enorme.

Sigo siendo belga, y por eso escucho la radio belga por Internet, y hace un par de meses había un testimonio de alguna mujer que había tenido el privilegio de encontrarse con Leo Messi. Ella trabaja voluntariamente para una organización para niños muy enfermos en Bélgica, y uno de estos niños, también admirador de Messi, quería encontrarse con él. Sin embargo, no fue posible por una u otra razón, pero Messi tomó el tiempo para hablar con la mujer y para firmar algunas fotos para los niños enfermos en Bélgica. Fue muy emocionante para mí escuchar esta noticia. Era una confirmación de que Leo Messi es un hombre con el corazón de oro. Se merece muchos más premios que los tres balones de oro y los no-sé-cuantos otros premios que ha recibido hasta ahora. Es un hombre de carne y hueso, pero se encuentra muy alto en mi escala de respeto para celebridades. Sé que su familia es tan humilde como él, y como mi familia también es de una clase más bien baja, me siento vinculada con él. Espero que algún día pueda hacer algo tan grande como él, aunque no exactamente a esta escala. Más bien hacer algo para que mi familia pueda estar orgullosa de mí, como creo que la familia de Messi está muy orgullosa de él, por todo lo que ha logrado en la vida.  

 
Bueno Messi, hazme orgullosa otra vez, te lo ruego :) Tienes todo mi respeto, admiración y apoyo, ahora adelante, y a ganar más copas. Tal vez sea mucho pedir, pero por favor, este año quiero que ganen tanto la Liga Española como la Liga de Campeones. Se lo merecen, barceloneses! Vostè és més que un club!

Foto hecha en el estadio del Barça, julio del 2011