Thursday, July 19, 2012

La vie en rose

The day after tomorrow I will be leaving Belgium and we (that is, my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, my nieces and me) will be heading for France. That's it, la douce France. I hope we'll finally see some sunshine, because in Belgium - and the Netherlands as well, for that matter - one would be asking oneself whether something such as a sun still exists. 


However, let's not complain about the weather for a change. Instead of that, let's think about what we will be doing in France for the next two weeks. We certainly won't be blogging, because I won't be taking my laptop with me. So you folks will have a rather long blog pause :) We won't be studying either, for all my books and articles will be staying at my parents' house. So there'll be plenty of time to swim, walk, enjoy the sun and read. As for the latter, I'm taking a couple of books with me, all of them in English: C.S. Lewis's Narnja, Orwell's 1984 - which I'm already reading at the moment - and 4 books by Paulo Coelho, chosen out of my Paulo Coelho collection. I hope that will do.


So it'll be a real summer break all right. Because that's what holidays mean to me: sunshine and books. That's the divine combination in my humble opinion. Oh yes, and hearing a foreign language all day, preferably one that I understand and speak. Still, I have to admit that my French has known better days. Because of the influence of my Spanish and (Brazilian) Portuguese, my French has deteriorated a lot; that is, I still understand what the people are telling me, but when I want to answer them, I can only think of Spanish or Portuguese words. That's the bad thing that comes along with speaking foreign languages...

For those of you who want to know, we're going to the Provence, near a city called Aubignan. We'll have to drive some 900 kilometres in order to reach our goal, and my parents haven't gone further than that ever before. I have, for I was in Spain - Barcelona - last year, but still, it's a large distance when you go by car. The domain where we'll be staying is called Les demeures du Ventoux. Yes, we'll be close to mount Ventoux, but as I'm rather a runner and not really a biker, you won't see me climbing mount Ventoux by bike. Instead, I'll be chilling at the pool with one of my precious books. Maybe I'll go to the gym when I'm tired of being in the swimming pool, or go for a run if I have enough energy and provided it's not too hot. The weather forecast is very promising: some 30 degrees on our day of arrival. That's about two times as hot as at the beginning of this week here in Belgium :)



Hopefully the weather will keep us going for the next two weeks, because Dutch/Belgian summer hasn't offered us anything up till now. It'll certainly be unpleasant to come back if the weather hasn't changed a bit. But I agreed not to complain about the weather, right :D We'll probably live "la vie en rose", although I can't really imagine what we'll be doing during our stay in France. But as time flies, those two weeks will soon be over. 

So, people, I'm off now, almost on my way to France. I'll be back in two week's time!



Friday, July 13, 2012

El mundo a través de los ojos de un bebé

23 de marzo de 1983, alrededor de las 6.00 AM. Llorando llegué al mundo. La verdad es que no me acuerdo nada de mis primeros momentos en este mundo. Creo que tú, querido lector, tampoco te acuerdas de algo de tus primeras horas después de tu nacimiento. Si me lo preguntas a mí, creo que es una verdadera pena. No sería lindo acordarnos por lo menos algo, aunque sea un solo sentimiento, de ese momento tan importante?

Hoy fui a ver una chiquita tan linda... Se llama Valentina Adriana y tiene exactamente 1 semana y 2 días. Tan pequeñita, ella, pero ya una verdadera princesa. Cuando estaba en mis brazos, era un momento de "quality time", lo digo en serio. Me encantan los bebés, y me gustaría tener uno, pero para eso se necesita marido primero, claro :)

Cuando estaba sentada con Valentina Adriana en mis brazos, me pregunté cómo sería el mundo a través de los ojos de un bebé. Ella todavía no ve mucho, claro, pero cuando crezca, vendrá el momento en que abre los ojos, y de repente ve un mundo tan desconocido. Reconocerá a su papá y su mamá por las voces, pero por lo demás... La primera impresión será que todo es enorme, sobre todo después de haber estado dentro de un lugar tan seguro y cómodo por tanto tiempo. Las personas y las cosas son enormes: las sillas, la tele, las puertas... hasta los ositos dormilones que tiene. 


No sólo me gustaría saber qué es lo que ven los bebés y cómo lo perciben, pero también me gustaría saber qué piensan. Qué piensa un bebé cuando, de un momento a otro, alguien lo saca de un lugar tan cómodo al momento de nacer? No será por nada que llora ;) Qué piensa cuando lo ponen en un baño de agua bien caliente y después, cuando ya se ha más o menos acostumbrado, lo sacan de este baño? O cuando la mamá lo ofrece leche por primera vez? Voy a tratar de ponerme en el lugar de la pequeña Valentina Adriana...


Un día de la vida de Valentina Adriana...

Bostezando, despertando... Está amaneciendo, veo luz detrás de las cortinas. Tengo hambre. Todavía no puedo llamar a mi mamá porque no sé cómo se pronuncian las palabras, así que tendré que llorar. Y llorar más, porque mis papis están todavía durmiendo, pero yo tengo hambre! Escucho algunos sonidos en el cuarto al lado. Será que mis papis están despertando? Sí, oigo pasos. Escucho la puerta abrir un poco y oigo la voz de mi mamá que me está hablando de una manera que me gusta, aunque no sé lo que quiren decir todas estas palabras. Sólo dentro de algunos meses entenderé lo que quieren decir estas palabras incomprensibles. Desde que mi mamá me toma en sus brazos, me siento más cómoda y dejo de llorar, pero sólo por un rato muy cortito, porque todavía tengo hambre. Pero mi mamá entiende, y después de que ella se haya instalado, puedo comer. Por fin! 


Después de comer, mis ojos... mis ojos... se cierran... se cierran poquito a poco... Estoy satisfecha, me siento bien, pero al mismo tiempo cansada, tan cansada... Mejor cerrar los ojitos por un rato... Un ratito nomás...



Abro los ojos y dentro de mi camita veo un sol brillante. Eso me gusta, porque, si tengo suerte, mis papis me van a poner en el coche infantil y vamos a pasear por la ciudad. Me encanta el aire fresco. Pero primero tendré que llorar otra vez, es la única manera de indicar que estoy despierta. Además, escucho voces en el cuarto al lado que no conozco. Serán otras personas que vienen a verme? Cada día llega gente que no conozco, y parece que todos me admiran. Y además todas estas personas quieren tomarme en sus brazos, besarme, acariciarme... Pero eso no me gusta tanto, porque mi mamá y mi papá son las únicas personas en las que confío. 

Después de haber llorado, viene mi papá y me muestra con orgullo a sus amigos. Y tiene razón, porque yo soy la chica más bella del mundo en este momento, una verdadera estrella, no te parece? Bien, parece que vamos a tomar un baño. Mi mamá me desviste y toma la toalla y la botella amarilla con jabón. Sí, eso me gusta, el baño. Bien caliente, me siento super cómoda. Pero no me gusta que me saquen de aquí, no mientras esté disfrutando de este momento en el baño. Ai ai, me sacan de mi baño! Noooo, ustedes no entienden, no quiero salir del baño! Entonces lloro, porque tienen que saber que de verdad no me gusta. 

Bueno, tenía razón, vamos a pasear por la ciudad. Cuánto me gusta el olor de fuera! Y escucho los pájaros, escucho el ruido del viento que está jugando con las hojas de los árboles. Estoy perfectamente feliz. 


Dentro de algunas semanas voy a sonreír cuando mis papis me hablan, porque me gustará mucho cuando me hablan o cantan estas lindas canciones. Y entonces conoceré también a más gente, como a mis abuelos por ejemplo. Dentro de más tiempo aún, voy a empezar a moverme y a imitar lo que mis papis me están diciendo, aunque al principio no conseguiré producir las mismas palabras que ellos producen. Y dentro de un año ya vendrán mis primeras palabras, y quien sabe, mis primeros pasos. Pero una cosa es segura: cuando sea grande, seré una verdadera princesa. Todos los chicos se van a enloquecer por mí. Es que ya soy una princesa ahora, recién nacida, o eso dice la gente que viene a visitarnos, y los de los chicos ocurrirá más tarde, dentro de suficiente tiempo. Mientras tanto, voy a crecer en la Argentina, cerca de mis parientes. Voy a estar feliz con mi familia. Y quien sabe, tal vez venga a visitar mi país de nacimiento, Holanda, alguna vez cuando ya sea grande. 

Bienvenida al mundo, Valentina Adriana! Te deseo todo lo bueno, y también a tus padres, Andrés y Mercedes. Su hija es preciosa! Esta entrada es dedicada a ella :)

Valentina y yo

Andrés, Mercedes y Valentina Adriana, una familia bonita y feliz





Friday, July 06, 2012

Have faith in your fate?

Should we have faith in our fate? That's the question I've been asking myself for a few days now. I mean, I've been planning my future recently, but can we be sure that all the things we want and expect to happen will eventually happen? Or do we have to accept that fate will guide our lives?


As I wrote in an earlier post, I believe in God and I trust Him to be my guide during my life. Still, sometimes life can take a wrong turn. Sometimes people get ill, even those who have a strong faith. And then I ask myself, why does this happen? What have they done wrong? Why does God want to punish them? However, it doesn't work like that. God doesn't punish people. Sometimes bad things just happen so as to prepare you for good things. I can give a personal example. As most of you already know, I got in serious trouble when I was 17, when I started cutting myself. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and it was all very troublesome. Somehow, I ended up in the Netherlands, and I needed psychiatric treatment here too. So I learnt a lot about myself and about other people, and I met quite a few people that changed my life and my way of being irrevocably. And that is good, as I'm quite happy with the life I'm living right now.




What lies ahead of us? No-one knows, except when you believe in fortune-tellers. I don't, but somehow, I'm worried about the future. As I wrote, I've been preparing my future lately. I want to finish my MA in Latin American Linguistics next semester, after that I want to do the MA which will give me the authority to be a Spanish teacher and maybe after that I want to do a special course to become a hands-on expert. I want to work as a Spanish teacher and as a hands-on expert if that's possible, both part-time. I want to marry a good guy, and maybe after a while have one or two children with him. Yes, I want to be a mom :) But not now, not yet.  I want to finish my studies first, and then think of a family. However, thinking about such a future also gives me goosebumps because it can all be over from one moment to the other. I mean, what if I get cancer? Or what if I'm in a car or train accident and die? Or even worse, be handicapped for the rest of my life? What about all my precious plans then? None of them will come true... Honestly, I don't want to think about it, but these thoughts have been playing games in my mind recently. I mean, it could happen to anyone of us, and I do believe that, if God wants it to happen, it will happen. Call me pessimistic, call me whatever you want, but I've always been like this: What if this happens, what if that happens? I'm quite a doom-monger, I know. 

Still, I don't believe in end-of-the-world stories. The Mayas may have been very intelligent folks, but I don't buy their predictions for 2012. It's just that I can't participate in their end of the world, because I've got too many stuff to do in 2013 and beyond ;)


I'm not only worried about my own life, but especially about the life of the people that I love: my parents and grandparents, my sister, my nieces,... What if something happens to anyone of them? What if fate cuts me lose from them? I care about my family, quite a lot actually. Without them, life wouldn't be the same. I hate to think about what will happen to them when they get older. I should be faithful, and let it be. God will one day bring me back together with the loved ones I've lost. I firmly believe that. But what with fate? What's my destiny, what's my purpose in life? What does the future have in store for me? I really want to be a teacher, but what if God has other plans for me? I'd love to find a faithful husband, but what if God wants me to stay single? I'd really want to be a mom, but what if God thinks my purpose in life lies somewhere else? 


It's just that i've had many moments like this in my life before, moments in which I saw myself becoming somebody that I really wanted to be, but eventually it didn't work out. At the age of about 16, I saw myself going to university in order to study astronomy. And I did, at least, I tried, that's the main reason for me being in the Netherlands, because I wanted to study astronomy so badly, and they don't offer this program in Belgium. Anyway, as you may have figured out already, I didn't finish the program. And that's not the only opportunity in which I didn't finish something. After my BA in Latin American Studies, I decided to do a Research Master in Linguistics. I figured out I wanted to study linguistics, and that I wanted to end up as a PhD student. Unfortunately, after about 6 months, I discovered that it was not what I'd expected. I was disappointed, and feeled the urge to become a Spanish teacher. So I quit, and decided to do what I'm doing now. And now I see myself becoming a teacher, and it feels really good. It's what I want to do, and if I could, I would already be there, standing in front of a group of youngsters who want to learn Spanish. But what if, after I've finished this MA, the other MA is another disappointment, and I will once again quit without finishing...?

I really wish I could have faith in God, but I'm afraid that fate will ruin everything, for fate and faith don't go together if you ask me. If you believe in fate, you don't have enough faith in God. And I'm having severe difficulties with this aspect of faith. I give fate too much space, and I shouldn't. But that's easier said than done, if you know what I mean. I still consider myself a new-born Christian, and it takes time to trust God with your life. That much I've learnt already.

 

Monday, July 02, 2012

Multiple Nationality Disorder

I'm everything but a patriot. I do love my country, but that's especially because I love its food. Oh yes, and its beautiful cities, Bruges in particular. I couldn't live without the fries - the creamy mayonnaise included - and the chocolates. I could do without the beer, however, as I don't drink alcohol, but I can imagine people who couldn't, like my dad. But about there, it ends for me. I still go to Belgium every once in a while because my family lives there. However, my heart isn't buried there. 


Where could it be buried then? In the Netherlands maybe? Because that's where I've been living for the past 10 years, which is about a third of my life. And it have been 10 special years, that's the least I can say. What's more, I think I could stay here for the rest of my life. I like Holland, Leiden in particular. I've found some special people here, some of which have contributed a lot to my life - I owe them so much. The Dutch people aren't perfect, and I really detest some of their typical characteristics, but on the whole, I don't mind living amongst them. Maybe I'm even more Dutch than Belgian, I'm still in doubt as to become Dutch or not to become Dutch, and my family in Belgium call me "Hollander" (Dutchie) whenever they talk to me on the phone or in real life. I have to admit that I only know the first and last two lines of the Belgian national anthem, whereas I know the Wilhelmus by heart. Should I feel ashamed now? Anyway, one could possibly think that my heart is buried here. However, much as I enjoy the Dutch football team - in spite of their elimination in Euro 2012 - I don't think that's the case...


Let's look a little further. Yesterday was the big final of Euro 2012. As a football fanatic, I had been longing for that game for weeks, and I was so glad to see that my all-time favourite, Spain, was actually in his third final in a row. Can you imagine my joy when they scored the first goal? And what about the second, third and fourth? I felt so proud, and I almost kissed my Spanish shirt. It was an awesome game, I haven't had such a good time in months. I've only been in Spain in two occasions, the last time being exactly a year ago, when I was in Barcelona for 6 days together with a housemate. I adore the language, the food, the people, the city, and of course, Barça and its players. I can honestly say I'm addicted to FC Barcelona. To be there in the stadium was a real honour for me. 


I want to go back, not only to Barcelona, but also to other cities and regions in Spain: Madrid, Sevilla, Granada... you name it. Unfortunately, I'm short of time and money, so it won't happen very soon. Still, I promise to go back as soon as I can.

Spain is not our final destination, however. Let's still look a little further... to end up in Latin America. Oh, how I love that continent... 


Especially when they show the World Cup football on TV, my support goes towards Latin America: Brasil, Argentina, Chile, Mexico, Uruguay,... It sometimes feels as though I'm a traitor towards my home country, but luckily for me, it's been a while since Belgium participated in such a competition ;) My Dutch friends then tell me to support the Dutch team, which I do, but when they have to play against a Latin American team, I can only feel sorry for the Dutch national team, because then my heart beats for the Latin American team...

It's high time that I acknowledged that I must be suffering from a new illness, called Multiple Nationality Disorder. I just can't make up my mind to which country I want to belong, so I just choose them all: Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Brazil, Chile, Argentina, Peru,... without even mentioning them all. I'm lucky to have quite a lot of Facebook and Skype friends in Latin America, and they make my hunger to visit their country even bigger. I can honestly say that I love them all, and I also love their countries. I hope to visit them real soon, so that we can meet in real life. Till then, I'll just have to keep on taking my multi-coloured M&M-meds to stay out of too much trouble. Or that's what I keep telling myself when I have to find a valid reason to consume M&Ms on a worrying almost daily basis...^-^