I can no longer deny it. Now it's official: I also have some '-aholics' behind my name. Luckily, I'm not an alcoholic. Neither am I a workaholic. Well, not really. You can't equate studying and writing a thesis with working. No, my addiction takes on another and certainly healthier form, and in fact - let's face it - a quite disturbing one, if you would ask my thesis coordinators. I hope you, my dear reader, are as inventive as I am when it comes to neologisms. Well look, I'm either a 'bookaholic' or a 'blogaholic'. Maybe both. Even a 'languageaholic', possibly. In any case a 'bol.com-aholic'. But not yet a 'thesisaholic', much as I would like to. Recently, I've bought so many new books that my dad had to install an extra bookshelf above my bed, which is now already completely stuffed with new and somewhat older books.
Shortly before going on a holiday, I bought the entire Paulo Coelho Collection - that makes 12 books! While in France, I got myself the entire "Petit Nicholas" collection - some funny stories about a cute, little boy called Nicholas who gets into trouble every now and then, perfect to practice my fossilised French - the Millennium trilogy by Stieg Larsson in English and some other French books, all youth literature, to start at a basic level when it comes to pick up those French pieces I lost during the past 12 years. Back home in Leiden, I started very ambitiously by buying the Start to Bike book. That was quite a good investment, for I'm already in week 4 of the program and all is going very well :) Another one of those ambitious plans was to study languages, or even more, because my goal was to improve the 4 foreign langauges that I already speak. Therefore, the 'languageaholic' part. I bought some books to study Brazilian Portuguese and some more books to study French, and I ended up with 10 study books. Right, maybe a little bit over the top, because, honestly, I can't possibly be studying 10 different books at the same time, even if it's only grammar and vocabulary? But I have to admit it: I am so fond of books that teach you grammar and vocabulary. I think it's just brilliant how almost all different methods work so thoroughly and mostly in an amusing, student-friendly way.
If that's not already enough study material, I also bought an almost 900 pages thick book about a very interesting, but at the same time quite painful topic: Statistics and SPSS. I need these two for the writing of my thesis, so actually I have no other choice but to surrender to these complicated t-tests, z-transformation and chi square stuff. Not that it's bothering me, I like maths next to learning languages, but still, it's quite a big challenge.
So that certainly makes me a 'bookaholic'. Next to that, I'm also a 'blogaholic' because every day I think about my blog. I check on a daily basis how many views I've had that day. Sometimes it's a disappointing zero, but lately it goes quite well and people from all over the world seem to visit me. I'm on a total of 1332 views since April, so I'm quite happy with that achievement. I want to take this opportunity to thank you all, people from almost every continent of the world, for visiting my blog, I appreciate it!
In Dutch, you have this saying: "A day without laughter is a day wasted". My motto is: "A day without thinking about my blog is a day wasted". Every day I think about new topics, but it's not easy to find some good topics. I mean, it's quite easy to write about a "light" topic, but I also want to tackle those topics that seem to be surrounded by taboos. That was my initial purpose in life, because someone has to do it, right? What's more, it also helps me to cope with my life and the things that have happened since I became a psychiatric patient.
Still, I'm especially a 'bol.com-aholic', because almost all the books I've bought recently were ordered on that website. Do you know bol.com? It's such a nice website, I'm afraid I'm quite addicted to it. Only yesterday, I ordered my 19th article in only 4 months' time. It all started with books, later on I also ordered some CD's and DVD's, even a laptop mouse and some more books. I also ordered some books via Amazon, but the biggest problem is that I don't have a credit card, so I had to borrow my sister's credit card. If I had one myself, I'd probably be an 'amazonaholic' too. Oh, it's so addictive! Buy, buy, buy some more!
When I went to the gym last Monday, I did a work-out of 60 minutes on the bicycle, and I thought I deserved a reward for that achievement. That's when I bought the first three books of the Inheritance cycle by Paolini, and ordered the fourth and final book on - you guessed it - bol.com. Oh, maybe I spoil myself too much! But what about this: buying books, CDs and DVDs makes me feel extremely happy! I have to admit that I have some thesis issues and sometimes I feel quite unhappy with what I'm doing. That's when I buy myself a reward, because somehow, I keep my head up. You know, once I had the entire Stepen King-collection in Dutch pockets, ánd the entire Pieter Aspe-collection. (Pieter Aspe is a very good Flemish writer, if you understand Dutch and you like detectives and crime novels, you should check him out.) I had to sell them all because of a lack of money and space for all those books. Lately, I exclusively buy books in English in order to practice my English. I don't like reading in Dutch anymore. You hardly learn any new words while reading in Dutch, and that bothers me.
Anyway people, now I want to know what kind of -aholic you are. Are you also a 'bookaholic'? Maybe a 'thesisaholic', which I should now pretend to be? Ore do you stick to the workaholic? Shopaholic? Shoe-aholic? Mobilephone-aholic? Whateveraholic? Let me know and maybe we can be some kind of -aholic together :-)
Day after day, I'm confronted with this somewhat threatening fact: I'm writing my MA thesis, and within a couple of months, I'll be graduating. But until then, I'll have these issues, these "thesis issues".
You know you're writing your thesis if... you're kind of desperate almost all day long, with the exception of those few moments of joy, for example when you go to the gym, or when you have a drink with one of your housemates. You know you're writing your thesis if... you realise that you wake up in the morning thinking "how many words will I write today?" and that you go to bed after having written not even that many words as you'd have loved to. How come I'm under pressure?
You know, it's not just the thesis, it's the life after that that's bothering me at the moment. What will I do after I've written my thesis? Will I be able to make that dream come true, i.e. to be a Spanish teacher at a bilingual or international school? Maybe my mom is right, and I should've been working for a couple of years already. I'm 29, for Christ's sake, and I'm still studying! Well, I've been through a lot, but my mom thinks that's a pathetic little excuse. Honestly, I don't know. I know what happened in my past and what's happening in my present, but I'm not able to predict what will happen in the future. All I know is that I've done the best I could ever since I started studying Languages and Cultures of Latin America in 2004. A lot has happened since. And I do realise that most of my fellow students have already found a job and they no longer belong to that class of people I belong to, i.e. students. However, I do realise that a student's life is quite good and that you should enjoy every single moment of it. At least, that's what I thought last week when I applied for another language course. After English level 7 I've also decided to take up a French course to improve my French. I mean, I'm Belgian, so I should be able to express myself clearly in French. The biggest problem is the interference of Spanish and even Portuguese. That's why I do understand about everything native speakers of French are telling me, but why I can't answer back in a decent way without using Spanish or Portuguese vocabulary. I also wanted to improve my Portuguese, but maybe I should take up that course in the second semester... All I know is that my thesis coordinators weren't too happy to hear about my intentions to improve certain languages. They're quite afraid that I'll dedicate too much time to all the other things that distract me from my thesis. But honestly, I can't work on my thesis 24/7! Ok, I should be aware of the fact that distraction from the thesis is easily found. However, ever since I took up my new rhythm, as one of my mid-August resolutions, I have about two hours extra every day. I dedicate those two extra hours to study languages. Ok, maybe I dedicate another extra hour a day to the study of languages. But at about 2 PM I'm working hard on my thesis, and that until about 11.30 PM. I only have a break for dinner and to watch one episode of the series Lost - which is actually losing me at the moment with all its flash-backs and flash-forwards (but that's something for another post, I suppose). So what's wrong with studying languages? I thought my thesis coordinators would somehow encourage me to improve my languages, because I think it's a welcome change from my thesis, and besides that, it's also quite useful.
It's just that I'm not always happy when writing my thesis. Now I know for sure that I'm not the most suitable person to do a PhD. I feel already unhappy when I don't understand something immediately and I get easily frustrated when I don't find the appropiate words to reformulate what this or that investigation has shown. I usually start summarising articles and useful fragments of books with a lot of motivation and goodwill. But somehow I get lost very easily, and then I get stuck in the article. That's the point when I start feeling unhappy. At that point, motivation is hard to find. And then I'd better dedicate some time to other things, like language learning or reading, preferably in - you guessed it - a foreign language.
Anyway, as I cannot start the educational MA I wanted to do in February, I will do some additional language courses, if other people like it or not. It's my last opportunity to take up some extra courses. I really want to graduate with something more in my backpack than just my BA and MA courses, and as foreign languages are getting more and more important, it's always good to have that on your CV. But when I graduate, dear reader, I will be very happy because, to be honest, I really want to find a job and be a teacher. I want to teach those kids Spanish - or French, or English - but not just that. I also want to teach them that life is not all about studying. It's not all about having fun either, but it's more or less something in between these two: the golden mean. And if you have to go through some tough times, you have to know that eventually it will get better. And that's the take-home message for myself: when you have these thesis issues, it can only get better!
Let's graduate!
Yesterday, you could see a blue moon if you lifted your eyes up to the sky. For those who have seen it - I missed it, I have to admit - how blue did she look? Well, not particularly blue, I suppose. No, the moon can be red or orange sometimes, for example when she rises in summer evenings or during a lunar eclipse. Blue however...
This is how yesterday's blue moon looked like. Not blue, eh ;) Let me explain the terminology. A blue moon is the name of the second full moon in one and the same month. Normally, as the cycle of the moon is almost 30 days long, it corresponds quite well with our division of the year in months. However, some months have 31 days, so sometimes it is possible to have two full moons in the same month, and that's why we're talking about a blue moon. It happens quite rarely, however, and if I'm not mistaken, it will take another three years to have another blue moon. Ok, that's quite a long time for something that is not exactly spectacular, but somehow it's good to know, right?
Some things happen also quite rarely. Take a lunar eclipse - to stay in the field of astronomy - for example. If you are lucky, you can see a lunar eclipse once every two years, although there is one almost every year. Still, the eclipse is not visible in every part of the world, although, in comparison with a solar eclipse, more than half of the Earth's population can witness a lunar eclipse. A partial solar eclipse is alsmost as rare as a lunar eclipse, but a total eclipse of the sun really is rare. Most people will only witness one, or even none, in their lifetime, and most will have to travel to find the exact spot where you can witness a full eclipse.
So a total eclipse of the sun can be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but there are still other, far more important things in life that only happen once. What about being born and dying? Certainly two things that happen only once in your life. What about getting married? Well, here you could argue that many people get married more than once in their life, but you can only marry for the first time once in your life. What about graduating? Ok, some people take up two - or more - studies and can graduate a few times. Or you could count graduating as a BA and as an MA as two separate events, but you'll only once in your life decide that it's time that you find your first real job.
As for me, I've got such a unique, once-in-a-lifetime experience coming up real soon. On September 30, I'll be baptised. I think I can fairly claim that this is also a thing that can only happen once in a person's life. However, some people will heavily disagree with me, because, as a matter of fact, I was baptised a month after I was born, now more than 29 years ago. So it will be my second time, all right, BUT that wasn't my decision, that was the decision my parents made for me. Now, within 4 weeks, I'll make my own firm choice, and the only correct answer is Jesus. My faith has changed me a lot, because I notice how God is at work in my life. I have changed a lot in recent years, and there is no other explanation available: I can only accept God's many blessings with gratefulness.
About my graduation then. I already have my BA diploma, and at the moment I'm working on my MA thesis. I want to graduate in December, but there's still a lot to do. Anyway, it doesn't even stop in December, because I want to do an MA of education, with the purpose of becoming a Spanish teacher, something I've wanted for a very long time now...
So, dear reader, now it's your turn! Have you already experienced things that happen once in a person's lifetime? Or maybe you are working on it, or you have some plans? Please let me know, I'm eager to learn about your experiences. Maybe then I can set up some sort of bucket list, with things that I still want to do, especially because they occur only once in our short life. (Inspired by Randy's 50-before-50 bucket list)
Shortly before going on a holiday, I bought the entire Paulo Coelho Collection - that makes 12 books! While in France, I got myself the entire "Petit Nicholas" collection - some funny stories about a cute, little boy called Nicholas who gets into trouble every now and then, perfect to practice my fossilised French - the Millennium trilogy by Stieg Larsson in English and some other French books, all youth literature, to start at a basic level when it comes to pick up those French pieces I lost during the past 12 years. Back home in Leiden, I started very ambitiously by buying the Start to Bike book. That was quite a good investment, for I'm already in week 4 of the program and all is going very well :) Another one of those ambitious plans was to study languages, or even more, because my goal was to improve the 4 foreign langauges that I already speak. Therefore, the 'languageaholic' part. I bought some books to study Brazilian Portuguese and some more books to study French, and I ended up with 10 study books. Right, maybe a little bit over the top, because, honestly, I can't possibly be studying 10 different books at the same time, even if it's only grammar and vocabulary? But I have to admit it: I am so fond of books that teach you grammar and vocabulary. I think it's just brilliant how almost all different methods work so thoroughly and mostly in an amusing, student-friendly way. 
In Dutch, you have this saying: "A day without laughter is a day wasted". My motto is: "A day without thinking about my blog is a day wasted". Every day I think about new topics, but it's not easy to find some good topics. I mean, it's quite easy to write about a "light" topic, but I also want to tackle those topics that seem to be surrounded by taboos. That was my initial purpose in life, because someone has to do it, right? What's more, it also helps me to cope with my life and the things that have happened since I became a psychiatric patient. 
