Excellent is not good enough

I'm one of those persons that could call themselves a perfectionist, although I don't like to admit it. However, now I write it down in black and white. Yes, dear reader, Debz is a perfectionist. 

 

I think I can truly say that I've been a perfectionist all my life. When I was younger, I had this thing with my crayons for example: they had to be ordered exactly as the first time I'd used them, i.e. in the same order and with the print on the crayons facing me. Also, from the very first exams that I did, I strived to get a perfect score. And the funny thing is that I sometimes succeeded in getting that perfect score, even at high school and university for some subjects.

However, it's not always easy to be a perfectionist. People at school often made fun of me because I got good grades. And I was too weak to defend myself. I'll never be able to forgive those people who bullied me for that reason, because the bullying contributed to me being a borderliner. Still, now I'm a university student, and I'm no longer being bullied because I get good grades. In fact, quite the opposite is true. My university teachers say things like "you're an excellent student", "you got an impressive score" and stuff like that. That gives me the courage to go on like this, and it makes up for all the bullying at high school. 

Sometimes I envy those people that are happy with a 6 (out of 10). They surely have a life that is a whole lot easier than mine. Because, to be honest, sometimes even excellent is not good enough. I always study hard, and as a true perfectionist, I don't skip anything. Every detail is as important as the rest. But if I don't get a (nearly) perfect score, I know that there is room for improvement, although recently I've been less hard on myself. I know that a 9 is excellent at university level. I just don't understand why people are so happy with low grades. I mean, you only go to university once, it's your one and only chance to prove what you're worth. And I think that employers should have a look at people's grades before they hire someone. High grades can give an employer the idea that their future employee is willing to work very hard. At least, I hope that is what the employer deduces from his future employee's high grades.

Am I too hard on myself when I say that sometimes, excellent is not good enough? I know that I'm a demanding person, and I'll probably be a very demanding teacher if I can achieve that career, but does that make me a bad person? I don't think so. I think perfectionism isn't necessarily bad, but it does make your life more difficult because you're not easily satisfied. It costs a lot of effort, but I can guarantee you, getting a good grade makes up for all the effort I put into studying. And yes, I'm suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but even that has its positive sides. The question is at what cost... 

Take-home message: be as good as you can possibly be! Go to the extremes, and be proud of yourself when you achieve the goal you set yourself. You will probably never be absolutely 100% perfect, and that's a difficult message I send to myself in particular. But that doesn't take away that I can at least try to be as perfect as possible, right?